Forever
by gunner brat
Summary: This is my take on the off-screen funeral of Olivia and what could have happened after.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: This is the first time I've actually written anything for the listener so no, I don't own it- just the ideas.

I hate "Author's notes" probably more than most but this is my first attempt at this so... no I don't mean to offend anyone. It just so happens that they didn't show Olivia's funeral on the show and this is how I would personally picture it. I don't remember any mentions of either religion, or family of Olivia so I'm taking 'artistic license' with it. It is mentioned then I guess it'd be a non-canon.

Toby woke up shivering and looked around. Blinking in temporary confusion he moved to get some warmer clothing and look for the open window. Reaching his bedroom he felt the icy winds cut into his skin like fine tipped daggers and quickly closed it. Groggily he walked to his dresser and taking out a zipper sweater and put it on. His eyes wandered and widened as he focused on the bright red numbers on the alarm clock. It was three in the morning and Olivia's funeral. A fading sense of craving for something, anything really, to forget came and went as he ruthlessly resisted getting another drink. He couldn't go to her funeral drunk and holding himself close so he could warm up a little more. It was too early to go out so he fell onto the bed face up and stared at the ceiling lost in thought. He couldn't tell how long he was distracted until he felt exhaustion creeping up on his alert state and eventually he found himself in a fitful sleep for a few hours. It was noon when he opened his eyes and his turmoil went from mild to major for a moment. The sinking feeling that stuck with him faded slightly but the heaviness didn't fade. The house phone rang and slowly getting up to answer it he waited for the other person to speak.

"Hey Toby, how are you, man?" Oz asked probably from work from the sound of it.

"I'm alright, don't you have work to do?" he replied knowing the answer to his question already.

"Of course, Ryder gave me a brutal shift but he just sent me home saying I was distracted and he didn't want me to crash the ambulance, "Oz said, " I wasn't really listening after a while"

"I see well Sandy is still taking time off, why don't you go see her for a bit?" he said as he silently hoped that Oz would agree.

"Yeah, I agreed to meet her for lunch. You want me to get anything?" Oz asked.

"How about a drink after the... "He trailed off slowly as he got quiet.

"Of course, Mind if Sandy joins us? I mean she doesn't drink often but she said she wanted one anyway" Oz asked.

"By all means, are you sure you two don't want to go out alone?" He asked with a small smile.

"Well, she might have said she wanted a drink after and to bring you along. She's worried about you, Toby" Oz said.

"I'm sure she's not the only one. You're coming to change, right? You still going to drive me?" Toby asked.

"You mean you don't want to ride your motorcycle wearing a tuxedo? Of course I'll drive you." Oz said.

"Thanks a lot, Oz. I haven't eaten so can we talk later when you get to your apartment?" he asked.

"Of course, I'd best go now too. I'm just out of Sandy's place. Later." Oz said as he hung up.

Pressing the end call button he put the phone down and opened the fridge. An unopened bottle of beer looked untouched and he began to reach it until changing course and picked up some leftovers and a fork before digging in. The next hours were just a tad bit shorter than waiting for news about Olivia's condition before she died. It would be a bit of a blur later on but flipping through the last pictures of her alive and well he wondered for if they knew she would later die if she would have spent it with someone else.

His mind flashed to the hospital room and the last time he saw her. He only could remember now the blood that leaked from her eyes like red tears. The last thought of her mind was about others and she wanted him help to find the cure. He wanted the bastards to be caught and pay for it. Tears fell silently because it felt like he ran out of them a while ago. His hand clenched and putting his head in his hands. He managed to solve the case and save the others but he couldn't save her and it still hurt. The hole in his heart was gnawing at him but hopefully it would heal in time or he would at least not feel the loss as sharply. She was his first relationship. The one who accepted him and his gift first and cared enough to yell at him when he was being stubborn or carless with his life. Olivia as the first one he believed that it was okay when he made mistakes and others paid for it.

A knock on the door interrupted his brooding and letting himself in Oz sat beside Toby. Managing to get Toby off the couch and ensuring Toby got ready in time. Finally properly dressed for the funeral Toby saw Oz on the couch in a similar tuxedo. Herding Toby out the door and together they drove to the church. Neither of them wanted to have an awkward conversation before so it was silent until Oz parked in the parking lot. Sandy was in front of the church and ran towards them in a black dress and heels. She hugged Oz first and kissed him on the lips in greeting. Then she let go of him and latched onto Toby and gave him a bear hug before leading them towards the church.

There at the front, behind the podium and in front of the altar was a closed casket. Quietly they each took a different seat together in the third row. It was too quiet but the thoughts were a hundred miles fast but Toby was lost in his own as he could only focus on the casket. Finally it was time and the priest began to speak to the crowd. It wasn't long before Olivia's immediate family went up to the podium themselves. Tears fell as her father spoke with the others supporting him and giving him strength. Toby could empathize as he listened half-heartedly but all he could focus on was the casket. Oz nudged him and he stood up and walked to the podium. His heart felt like it was being crushed by his fist as he took a moment to gather himself. Looking up at the crowd who even in passing mourned for Olivia, he felt ears fall, and began to speak, his voice cracking slightly in places.

"Olivia was the most amazing and caring person I've ever had the privilege to know. She was a brilliant doctor whose ability to care and inner strength and justice made her work harder than many and inspire others to do so as well. She believed she could change the world and I think she has. She was a brilliant student, a better teacher, and is one of the reasons why I do what I do. She taught me many things over the years I've known her but the most valuable one was the value of a life. Each and every one is priceless, ye the moment we are created, we are fated to die. It's only temporary, but it's a gift, and one that I hope doesn't go to waste. She was a kindred spirit and I know I'll see her again. Where ever you are, Liv, I'll do you proud. You died as you lived: fighting for something you believe in."

The silence was overwhelming even among all the noise. Toby quietly sat down in his seat and the rest of the service passed in a blur. Before long it was time to put a rose on the casket. The line was long but as he joined the procession he could only wonder what her family was thinking right now. Clutching the rose stem he waited and gently laid the rose on the casket and hanging his head silently and finally said farewell. It wasn't long before he sat with Oz and Sandy at his place each with a beer. His heart clenched as he could remember at his apartment with just the four of them: Oz, Sandy, him, and Olivia toasting to Charlie. Now the three of them were toasting to Olivia and it was for her that they were silent remembering her and slowly sipping their drinks in a comfortable silence. He stayed up to watch the sun rise over Toronto. He had to go to IIB, Sandy had to get some sleep because she had a twelve hour shift at the hospital, and Oz was asleep on the couch exhausted with Toby having no intention to wake him up for work.

(Random quotes for fun)

All life is temporary but what we're made of is eternal

It's not a death that I'm afraid of but a life unlived and full of regret

When people close pass on I try to remember no how they died but how they lived and celebrate both the good and bad.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own the listener, nor am I making money off this.

A/N:I was watching the listener (season 4) and this popped into my mind.

She watched him stand almost nervously against the gate unwilling to walk through them. He paced nervously and sitting down he put his head in his hands. She stood near the end of the row waiting for him to let go but Toby couldn't. He could almost sense her watching him but his gift was reading peoples minds not seeing the dead. He called Rose, the psychic artist, and asked her to meet him. She did after he convinced her. She gave him a sketch too, one where he was standing over a woman behind a desk, with a pitcher of water glowing and a glass near her. He nearly broke down then and there. She described Olivia perfectly, saying that she needed help to give Toby closure, and Rose listened. Pausing once more she brought out another sketch, this one of a happier time. It was one where the calendar was just after Charlie's death and they were drinking alone. He was holding her close as they drank some champagne and she was laughing while he was looking at her with his mouth open as if he was hurt by her laughter.

The time with Rose was short as she wouldn't go near the cemetery normally but going with him she stood by him as they walked to her gravestone and she saw the name of the woman with smiling but bloody eyes. He fell to her knees softly sobbing and she was staring at the gravestone with wide eyes as Olivia watched. Putting her hand on his shoulder she pointed towards the tree off to the side where a familiar figure watched him. He didn't dare look up at her or where she was pointing until his silent sobs stopped.

"She watches you when you come here. You have no idea how proud of you she is," Rose said.

"I've come here every day since she died. She wanted me to solve the case. Those were her last words," he said brokenly.

"Then you should look up and where I'm pointing Toby," Rose said.

He looked up and instantly he saw from her eyes. He was on his knees crying, with Olivia by the tree. Her eyes weren't bloody anymore and she wore a familiar summer dress. Smiling he could see the apparition of Liv come closer until she kneeled down and feeling a shiver heard her say that he should bring his new girlfriend to visit. He could feel himself shiver as a cold wind passed as he heard those words still in her mind. It could have been a hallucination, a shadow, some cruel trick but the connection fizzled and he was alone with Rose. She smiled at him and walked away after kissing him on the forehead.

Rose, just a woman with a sketchbook, and Olivia, a woman he loved and who loved him had been in contact. He stood up and dusting his pants whispered a thank you to thin air and walked away to think. It took him a few days to calm his nerves and he called Tia. Asking her to meet him near the cemetery for something important when she was free. So there he was standing right at the gate waiting for his potential girlfriend to come. He looked at the phone expecting her to call him and say he was crazy or she'd be late but heard a familiar voice instead.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, but this is important. I'll be in time for the meeting but only if I go now," Tia reassured her editor.

She hung up and looked up to see Toby staring at her, "Hey, Tia, I'm glad you came shall we?" he said.

"Why are we here Toby?" she asked.

"Olivia was buried here and as strange as it sounds I want you to meet her, " he said looking at her with fear in his eyes.

She looked at him with wide eyes but they softened, "This is a very strange date, but sure, for you Toby. I'll meet your dead girlfriend," she said.

"I'm sorry if this is awkward, but you know my job, you know my past, and and I just wanted to say my final goodbye with Live and I can't do it alone..." he trailed off.

"Olivia was a lucky woman, and you wanted me to come to for moral support?" she asked.

"Yes, I've felt so guilty that I couldn't save her and if you want to go I'll understand," he said evenly without looking at her.

"Oh, Toby, I understand. I've talked with loved one of other victims of that crime, you know, they think you're a hero. She wouldn't hold it against you," she said.

"... I know but I can't do this alone," he said his voice breaking.

"Well, I'm happy to be here for you, and to meet your old girlfriend. She must have been an amazing woman to have touched your life as much as she has," Tia said.

"She was, but so are you" he said as they reached her tombstone.

Tia stood off to the side as Toby poured his heart out looking at her on occasion. She understood his grief better than he knew. Finally after sometime he got up and she held him close. Smiling and staring into his red eyes she looked towards the gravestone and the gate. The interview couldn't wait but Toby was higher on the list of immediate priorities.

"I know you need to go so we can go now, thanks for your support," Toby said.

"No problem, would you mind if I paid my respects to Olivia as well?" she asked, "She was a hero for preventing it spreading out more, even if the company already had a cure," Tia said.

The smile on his face made her heart clench painfully, "Of course, If that's what you want, I'll be at the gate," he said.

Tia stared at the gravestone of Olivia Fawcett. The stone was still polished that it shone in the sunlight. The words read "Olivia Fawcett; Daughter, Sister, and Friend; May you watch over us until we meet again" and she felt tears well up. Bringing out a paper in her bag she set it down so she could kneel at the grave. Touching the headstone and trailing her finger through the outline then the engraved words she gave a small sigh.

"I wasn't lying when I said you were amazing. You're a hero too, for you efforts in the outbreak. I reported on it with a friend. Listen, I know this is just a gravestone, and you're not really here but if Toby will let me in I'll take care of him. I am attracted to him and he needs someone with him in this time. I hope you approve," and with that Tia left the gravestone leaving the newspaper on the grave. It was dated a day after the panic with a picture of Olivia in her doctors uniform smiling at the camera and a few other doctors that fell to the virus.


End file.
